Well douche your snatch and let's go!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
