but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
