I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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