we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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