you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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