O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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