and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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