I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
