I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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