call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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