Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
someone owes me an orgasm
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
