i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
