spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
