Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
