New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize