im drinking this country out of the recession.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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