..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
