My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
