I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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