y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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