can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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