hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
