when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize