i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
