Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
