How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
