YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize