...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She even gives head with a lisp.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
