You're completely useless in the revolution.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
