I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
