So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize