I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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