he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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