just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
