Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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