So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
third nipple confirmed
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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