Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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