I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
