You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
