people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize