East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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