More tranny stories later!
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
