Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize