Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
