another moral hangover. fuck.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Bring me that man meat
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
