Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
