I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
