would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
