he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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