I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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