out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
