Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
