Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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