i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
