I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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