toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
