i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
