oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
