I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
