Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
