He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
