Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
