I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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