I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
