Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
