somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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