oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize