I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
