There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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