you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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