My hair reeks of homosexuality.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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