Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
