My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
