she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
