Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
